I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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