Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
