dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
