I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
