He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize