either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
