THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
