Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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