I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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