I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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