Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
