We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize