How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Please, let me fuck your mom
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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