That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
