If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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