i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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