I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why can't burritos get me drunk
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
