wrigley field is MILF paradise
I looked at my own cervix.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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