I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
