i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
