My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
