he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
