Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
