Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
