I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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