You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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