That's when you crack a 10am beer
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize