And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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