Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
