It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
