God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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