okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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