I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
