You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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