I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
