i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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