If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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