I'm gonna have a badass scar
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
