forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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