sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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