I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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