420 ftw
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
