its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Randomize
