Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize