proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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