Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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