Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am one with the molecules
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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