that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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