Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
