Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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