No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
