Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
