You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
