i jhust puked up my retainher.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
