Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
