i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
