i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize