We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
