I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You ruined the universe
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
