Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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