I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
