Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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