i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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