I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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