Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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