Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
