I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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