handjob tips. give me some.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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