guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
