I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Holy sore nipples Batman
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
