I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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