Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
