just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
