there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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