discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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